From: Anthony Redekas

Date: August 23, 2012 8:40:56 PM EDT

 

To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m wasting the time to respond to your letter. It is devoid of anything remotely supportive to your brother who took the huge risk of exposing his heart to people he once cared deeply about. My act of love has been thrown back at me and every attempt has been made to color me as evil or broken. In need of repair. You can NOT imagine how insulting that is to me.

 

I am greatly saddened that my orientation is simply too much for you to understand, but at this point in my life, I am not about to start educating you on such simple science that has been available and understood for decades now.

 

You find comfort in an absurd belief system that has no problem applying it’s evil doctrine to one of God’s children. Someday, if not in this life, you will be asked to explain why you questioned His Plan. I do not envy you. I’ll pray that He finds a way to forgive you.

 

Thank you for explaining to me how I should feel about all of this. Apparently, I am not allowed to feel angry about the treatment I have been ‘blessed’ with. It did not escape me that the ‘anger’ argument that my other ‘brother’ espouses has found its way into your letter. Congratulations. Both of you can enjoy your Dr. Phil moment, knowing that you have accomplished great things.

 

Two brothers I cared about have betrayed me at the most vulnerable point in my life. Thank you.

 

I could go on and on about the pain you have inflicted, but I’ve had enough.

 

You have both underestimated me.

 

I will move on with my life, knowing that I did His bidding. I have no room in my life for this poison. I gave you 17 months to digest this news and adjust.

 

I was wrong to expect anything from either of you.

 

I’m returning your letter. Perhaps it will make good reading in the future. I would like to think that someday it will embarrass you to read it, but I have completely lost any faith that you have the capacity or Christian understanding to ever really understand His words.

 

I am done.

 

Anthony Lawrence Redekas   23 August 2012

 

Editor’s note:  I received a letter from my middle ‘brother’ two days ago. He wrote to me apparently shocked at my response to his offer to celebrate my birthday. I was unequivocal during that conversation, that there was NOTHING to celebrate. At least not with him or my youngest ‘brother’.

 

In this letter he repeats his desire that I ‘change’, and admits that it would be a ‘miracle’, and offers his advice that once I open my eyes to God’s goodness, ALL things will be possible.

 

He also espouses his theory about my orientation. In his mind, it is a result of the violent act perpetrated against me as a child. The evil a heterosexual man nearly destroyed the boy in the swamp with…

 

It is the only way he seems able to accept my ‘unnatural’ state. It cannot be that God created me in his image, as He repeatedly states in that Holy Book. No, it Must be that something changed me.

 

I simply have no more stomach for this absurd viewpoint. He has obviously spent not a single moment reading ANYTHING that questions his backward rationalizations, and the end result is that he is little more than a bigot of the worse kind– a hypocrite that hides behind a flimsy and lazy interpretation of God’s Word.

 

I am done with him. It is terribly sad, but I have allowed this to wound me, hoping things will get better, and I was wrong. Only God can change his corrupted beliefs… ironically.

 

I have not yet replied to the comments from my last post, and I am sorry…  I have been working ridiculously long and grueling hours, trying to deaden my feelings. To exhaust myself so that I can sleep. It hasn’t been easy. Betrayal of this magnitude is life altering.

 

I’ll try to answer the comments this weekend. I am actually taking the weekend off.

 

I don’t want to end this post on such a sad note, so I will add that other things in my life are going quite well. 🙂 I have wonderful and supportive friends and Godchildren, and I am making new friends daily. I feel unburdened, in a sense, and once the rest of this family chaos is resolved, I’ll move foward with a new perspective and take up the sword once again. There is no turning back and I must add that even tho some sadness has come from this, there never was another way, if I was to survive. And, rest assured that I have not traveled this far to be defeated by the Others now.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you are all well and moving foward! Love you all!

 

tman

Advertisements