I spent today deep in thought.

             Now, it is true that most of the time as I’m working or driving, my mind wanders … It’s kind of hard to describe-  One moment I’m measuring a piece of poplar or birch for a cut I’m about to make for a cabinet I’m building, and the next thing you know, this second voice intervenes…

          No, I’m not crazy!  I’ve been this way since I was a kid, only back then, I would have these conversations with myself and then just put the transcripts away for another day!

             Now though, I find my thoughts turning to words on imaginary paper and there doesn’t seem to be any way to stop it… Sometimes, I want to stop and write the words down, but I don’t… I used to think that the words would be lost to the ravages of time, but they tumble from some strange place and find their way onto the page, no matter what I do.

              Today the words kept tumbling but they were slow and soothing, not frantic or anxious like they are sometimes…

                 Why? Well … After two weeks of agonizing over this life changing event, I’m exhausted.

                 Maybe even a little content, even though there are still unresolved issues with certain family members… But now, at least I know that the people that love me, love me for who I really am.  I don’t know how to describe that. I suppose it’s kind of like coming home from a long trip and seeing the old bed that you’ve become accustomed to… You just know that it’s good to be home.

                That’s how I feel… Content.  I got a phone call on sunday night from one of my Godsons, who came into town to surprise me. To show me that he cared. To help me through this.

               Words can’t describe what that meant to me. It’s what I had prayed for and hoped to get from my immediate family. Gotta say, they’ve been a bit of a disappointment. But my nephews and my niece and my Godsons?

              They fill my heart with … many pleasant thoughts that tumble from that strange place and find their way into written word… Remembrances. Lived and written in my head for the morrow.

               I thank ALL of you who have taken the time to care, here on my blog and in the wonderful emails that got me through the saddest days. I will never forget…. I love you all!

                                                  tman<3

                   

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