I guess this is  a letter to myself, more than anything else…. It has been a long and difficult year, and   now, I am weary…. I’m also losing my faith… not in God, but, in people generally… IDK… For the last few weeks, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that my time spent in the blogosphere is a real waste… I am really just completely exhausted with the effort to try and make a difference.
     My message has always been one of faith and thoughtful passion- the young guys that I encounter out here seem to need so much help… Only, I’m not so sure, anymore, that I should really care. Sad, but true…
     One hour ago, I had lunch with some of the most important people in my life- my ‘baby’ brother, and, his two young sons, my nephews- one ( my Godson) is 5, almost 6, and the other, who just turned 2 years old… I sat, and talked with them, hugging my 2 nephews, and basking in the warmth of their love.

      THAT, IS REAL….

      THIS,  increasingly, is not.

      I am spinning my wheels, and finding it impossible to justify anymore.

This blog was started about 15 months ago, and, I had real reservations about opening a can of worms… Somewhere along the way, I decided that the real usefulness of this format would be realized if I put the stories of my youth to print, for the young people in my life, that will have questions about me when I leave this ‘spinning marble’. I also felt that the stories would make a difference, to certain people that would find themselves in the same predicament as I was, at that age… That, might still be true…. But, to document these experiences of my youth, I don’t need readership, or, for that matter, visibility…. I could easily just make this blog private, and write the stories only for them… I may do this.

    I could go on and on, but, I won’t. It just makes me sad.    Tman

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